Children. Those impressionable little bundles of joy can bring beauty to your life in parts you never knew beauty existed. But they aren’t exactly the most responsible, dependable, or skilled human beings you have ever met. Thank goodness they have you to teach them. 

The younger your children are when they start developing healthy habits, the more consistent they’ll be able to keep up with them as they get older. 

Model your values

Oftentimes, children mimic the actions of their parents. With that idea, if you don’t like who you are now, you probably won’t like your kid either. 

The values you hold for yourself and the habits you’ve established along the way will be the first things a kid will see. Do you always tell the truth? Are you fair to the people you meet? Do you have apparent prejudices? Is your work usually done on time? Are you a healthy eater? Do you recycle? All these questions are answered through your actions and your child will see that. 

Children love having role models. They love having idols from movies, books, cartoons, and real life that they can look up to when the world confuses them and there isn’t a clear path for them to take. Parents are often times the role models that change children the most. In a 2019 study, the use of role modeling to promote healthy habits was depicted as an effective parenting strategy even in children with neurodevelopmental or mental health disorders. 

The unwavering values you demonstrate every day will directly or indirectly steer the mentality of your child for possibly their entire life. 

Be consistent and predictable

The world is an immense place. 

Without predictability and structure, children and their little brains become intimidated by change. This is why morning routines are constantly emphasized within science and mainstream media. Morning routines provide a foundation for a productive day. So it is imperative that a solid routine is established every morning.

Waking up, making the bed, brushing teeth, having breakfast, and doing morning chores can all be done with your child so that the action becomes a bonding activity and makes it easier for you to see what your child needs help on.

Choice and consequences

It is essential to let your child know that their actions matter and that they are personally responsible for the actions they take. That isn’t to say your child should be making major life decisions like going to school or not. 

As your child ages, it is critical that the decisions they make correspond with their age. If your child is very young, giving them a dichotomous choice such as wanting to wear blue sneakers or red sneakers to school means you’re allowing them to feel important about their decision while still maintaining some control over their decisions. 

As they age, obtaining responsibility over their room, clothes, what snacks they eat, what lunches they want, and what times to do their homework can all be gradually introduced into your child’s life. 

Parents should absolutely stop the decisions that might lead to immediate danger: Going into a stranger's car, playing on something incredibly unsafe, or chasing a run-away ball heading towards the road should be points where you are able to step in and say why you did stopped them. Let them know why you did what you had to do instead of merely scolding them. 

How to establish a routine

Onoursleeves.org provides an excellent way to help your child establish a routine and it’s only a 3 step process! I will give a summary here but be sure to check out their official page for a more detailed explanation.

Follow the 3 R’s (Reminder, Routine, and Reward)!

• Reminder

  • This precedes the routine and is often a physical cue rather than only a verbal cue (drawings on a whiteboard calendar, putting notes up on the fridge, having notes on their bathroom mirror, etc.)

  • Patience and consistency are key, especially at the beginning of starting a completely new habit

• Routine

  • Make sure the action is well defined, completing the action along with your child can also make things more fun for your kid

• Reward

  • This always proceeds the routine and is special to your child

  • Extra playtime at the park, adding a coin to their piggybank, playing a new game, or going to see fun new places can encourage your child to continue the routine

In the beginning, you’ll need to provide a reward because usually, the routine alone isn’t enough incentive for a child. Rewards after completing a routine are much more preferable to punishments for not completing a routine because they allow positive reinforcement, good attitudes, and a better relationship between parent and child. 

Conclusion

Modeling your values, staying consistent, and allowing your kids to understand choice and consequence are a few concepts that’ll help with developing healthy habits with children. By using the three R’s (Reminder, Routine, and Reward), creating new habits can be a simple plan you can initiate at any time.

And remember…

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” – James Baldwin