“New year, new me!”

It’s that time of year again when everyone becomes eager and anxious to try something new and be someone new.

Most of us know how easy it is to get overexcited when a new year comes around regardless of whether you’re a kid, teenager, or adult.  But it can also be just as stressful, especially for children and teens who are being prompted by the adults around them to think about big goals that they want to achieve. 

If we had to sit down and decide everything we want to do in a year, it’s not surprising if we end up overwhelmed. Where do we even start? What should we prioritize? 

For kids, there’s also the added pressure of finding the ‘right’ answer to give to family members, caretakers, educators, and peers. Do they think they have to meet anyone’s expectations? Are they worried that their goals don’t come off serious or mature enough? Or will their friends laugh at them if their resolutions come off as too boring or weird? 

In this blog, we talk about four actions parents, caretakers, and children can take together to prioritize mental well-being while setting new years resolutions.

Before looking forward, look back

When you think about your new year goals, don’t try to cast too wide a net. You don’t want to spread yourself thin by striving for every positive and productive thing that comes to mind. Instead, be targeted and work toward a few important milestones that can really make a difference in your life 12 months from now. 

A great way to prioritize your goals is by reflecting on the past year. If you want this year to be better than your last, you first need to know what your highs and lows looked like. Here’s a little prompt on turning a 2022 reflection into a 2023 goal. 

⭐ 2022 Highlight: Spending more time playing outdoors in nature after coming home from school or finishing homework.

🤔 2022 Weakness: Having too much screen time every week on my phone and computer.

💪 2023 Goal: Use one hour of free time each day to ride my bike instead of using the internet.

📝 Take home activity: List three things you liked and disliked about 2022. Based on what you’ve written, come up with at least one way you can: 

(a) Continue doing what you like in the coming year

(b) Overcome your dislikes by replacing them with alternatives that make you feel happier 

Start by curbing bad habits

If you aren’t sure where to begin in your new year planning, start by identifying bad habits that you want to get rid of in the coming year. 

How do you define a bad habit? 

According to the Berkeley Well-being Institute, a bad habit is a “recurring action you do that typically provides instant satisfaction but often leads to long-term problems.” 

Unhealthy behaviors emerge easily in children and teenagers due to many factors, from anxiety and stress to curiosity, peer pressure, and anger or resentment. Research shows that the most common bad habits among young people ages 2 to 19 include excessive screen time, poor diets, and a lack of exercise.

Bad habits like these are difficult to put to an immediate end. They’re often well-integrated into a kid’s day-to-day habits and play a role in providing some sort of comfort during times of stress. Efforts to curb these behaviors must be approached as a long-term step-by-step journey. 

The start of the year is a great time to tap into a sense of motivation and begin mapping out a plan to gradually move away from certain habits. Charles Duhigg, Author of “Power of a Habit”, shares one tip to stick to your goal of overcoming bad habits. 

He suggests breaking each habit down into three parts: a cue, routine, and reward. From there, you’ll have a clearer idea of what you need to change and why. 

Let’s try this out with one of my bad habits: staying up too late at night. 

Bad habit: Staying up late at night (and waking up too tired in the morning) 

Cue: I feel like I didn’t have enough time during the day

Routine: I start working on new projects at night 

Reward: I feel less anxious about how I spend my time

Way to change this behavior: Wake up 30 minutes to an hour earlier so I have more time during the day and I can go to sleep earlier

Now, it’s your turn to try!

Identify themes instead of resolutions

In recent years, more people are starting to realize that we don’t have to normalize fitting your new year aspirations into a set list of resolutions. One whole year is a long time for things to change. Our goals and dreams may start to look a little different and our priorities may shift according to the events that unfold around us. 

Emma Mahoney, a Philadelphia-based therapist and mental health content creator, tells the Huffington Post that “change is one of the only things promised in life.” Rather than resolutions, she’s one of many who prefer making themes for each month of the year. 

One example she cites is breaking a large goal of improving your mental well-being into dedicating one month to the theme of practicing a mindfulness exercise every day. 

Monthly themes give you the flexibility to work toward your 2023 goals while taking into account the changes that might be going on around you. You can also better plan for seasonal events that might impact your physical and mental health. 

For instance, you could focus on spending less time on social media during exam months and prioritize physical activity and nutrition during the summer and holiday months. This makes bigger goals like “Be healthier” and “Less phone time” feel more within reach. 

What are some themes that make sense for your upcoming year?

Keep track of what you’re grateful for

As we’ve talked about throughout this article, the secret to a healthy and effective new years resolution is being OK with things looking different

Your new year's resolutions or themes are meant to help you experience the best year possible. They’re not there to scare you or punish you if things don’t go as planned. In fact, the more obsessed you are with perfecting your resolutions, the less you’re able to enjoy the results of your hard work.

That’s why it’s so important to set some time aside every day, week, or month to reflect on the things you’re thankful for or are happy to have.

Whether it’s in a diary, on your computer, or even on a rough piece of paper, jot down the things that made you feel accomplished, joyful, and empowered. You might surprise yourself and discover great achievements that you didn’t even plan for or even think about. 

This small and short activity is a big reminder that life is bigger and more special than what we think we can fit into a planner or calendar. We have the opportunity every single day to turn our year around and make it what we want it to be.

Remember this…

A new years resolution isn’t just for the new year. It’s a promise to yourself to be happier, healthier, and kinder, not just for yourself but for the people around you too. 

Need some extra support? We created a roadmap to help children and yourself step into the new year with intention.